Overseas Depression

       I came from that point in my life when depression almost consumed me but I won. Almost, that I can't write a poem anymore. I can't think of happy thoughts, I can't speak good words anymore, I can't act the way I used to before. I've been to a grey, bleak stage of my life and it drove me to the very verge of despair. I'm glad I won.

       I even deactivated all my social media accounts thinking that it'll help me and left all my friends back in the PH worrying and wondering why. For some reasons of not seeing all their whereabouts and not communicating with them somehow helped me ponder on the so many things running in my head that made me unhappy. With only me in the scene, realizations started to came one by one and I found out that the very reason why I'm unhappy was not caused by someone or something but it was caused by me. So I told myself these 5 things below:

"Neither compare yourself to others nor be envious of their achievements. For they are the sun and you are the moon, they are shining now and you too will shine later. It's not your time yet."

       I tend to compare myself all the time to others and gets envious if people same as my age or younger already has achieved a lot or achieved something better than mine not realizing that I was hurting myself all the time. Speaking about time, yes, everyone shines if it's their time. I guess it's not my time yet.

"Count your blessings, not the problem. A blessing, no matter how small, is still a blessing."

       I came from that point in life where I no longer can handle any problem. I count problems from the biggest one to the little ones that it almost made me lose my sanity. With only problems in my head, I failed to realize those small blessings that if you compared it to others, I can say that I am truly blessed after all.

"Never see your responsibilities as a burden. View it from a different perspective and take it as a challenge instead and know that you are bound to win it in the end."

       There was a time that I no longer want to send money back home and thought of spending it all to myself. I told myself I am the one who's working but can't even buy or do things that I want out of my salary. But before it's too late, I asked myself what's the very purpose why I worked abroad. It's because of them.

"Let bygones be bygones. Learn to detach from experiences and people who came and pass into our lives. Treasure the memories and relive it if you get a chance."

       Being an overseas worker was never easy and what makes it harder is because I never really admit the fact that this is my life now. My heart and mind and soul were still back home. Every inch of me never really left the Philippines that's why I am here empty. I have to detach myself from everything about home and embrace my life as an OFW to somehow fill the emptiness.

"Be patient. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and rush all things to happen instantly. Everything will fall into place at the right time. Trust only in His will and pray. Know that He hears even your most silent prayer."

       I just have to be patient and know that everything happens for a reason. I know God is with me and I know He will answer all my prayers in the right time. To all who's reading this, I know life can get so tough, but know you're loved and wanted and your life is worth living. ♥️

       Now, I am embracing 2018 with lots of positivity, optimism, and happiness. I thank all those people who really cared and loved me. 💕❤️